Project Beer Belly: Update

Well, the stupid Kelloggs thing didn't work. I'm still 15 stone according to the lying bastard scales. I do seem to have lost a little girth though (maybe half an inch) and one of my friends told me I'd lost weight this week, so that was nice. (I told him it was the beard). That said, I'm plainly too big for a pair of trousers that I remember fitting very comfortably less than 4 years ago, so that's not good. Must. Try. Harder. I need to try and cycle every day or something. If only I didn't have so much bastard work to do...

Project Beard: Update

The beard, on the other hand, goes from strength to strength. It's actually starting to look like a real beard now and not like I just can't be bothered to shave. Clearly I am great at accomplishing things which require no effort whatsoever. I wonder how I can apply this gift to the rest of my life? I definitely want the "full" beard - someone suggested trimming it down to a goatee and that sounded way too much work to me. Besides, I never saw my dad without a full beard and if it was good enough for him...

Project Wonder Woman: Update

What? I didn't mention Project Wonder Woman before? Well, I am now. I just finished watching season 1 and have watched the pilot episode of season 2. It's fabulous. I was forbidden from watching all American TV shows as a child (until Knight Rider came along, anyway) and Wonder Woman was the only notable casualty of that, in that it was something I wanted to watch but couldn't. I remain convinced that this contributed to my (relatively) slow sexual development - I'm sure if I'd been allowed to watch Wonder Woman (and Daisy Duke in The Dukes of Hazzard) at a reasonable age it might have speeded up a thing or two. Anyway, from what I've seen so far I think it's definitely worth blogging an episode guide. I think I'll do it after I've seen them all though. In the meantime I'll stick to putting up pictures of 'Wonder Woman In Dodgy Bondage Situations', like this one:

Testing, testing...

I'm going to try this new picture function Blogger are going on about. Here we go...

Ha ha! Fabulous. This is from my recently-acquired Wonder Woman season 1 DVD. For some reason she manages to get tied up, chained or crushed by a giant gorilla at least once per episode. So far, anyway.

Project X-3: Grow A Beard

This may well be ill-advised. Only time will tell. I haven't shaved for about a week now and things are feeling decidedly beard-like. However, whenever I look in the mirror it still just looks unkempt and straggly rather than like an actual beard. I think I'll give it another week or so and if it still looks crap I'll shave it off. I haven't grown one since 1991 so this could be interesting...

Project Beer-Belly: Day 11

Hmmm. The results so far can only be described as "mixed". On the plus side: tape-measure reveals belly is now a mere 40.5 inches. On the minus side: I finally bought the cheap scales from Argos and they say my weight is up to 15 stone. So I've actually put on half a stone! Stupid 'Drop A Jeans Size' diet. At this rate I'm going to have to start actually exercising or something.